Randomness with the doc & co
by jammythedodger
Summary: So, randomness with the doc and Susan. Have fun!
1. Bad terms

**Disclaimer: I do not own doctor who, so yeah. Enjoy!**

**Bad timing**

The TARDIS materialized on the Roald Dahl Plass. It was early evening in June and the air was warm. The doctor and Jack stumbled out of the doors,

"Hahahahaha, Doctor why don't we visit 18th century France more often? Asked Jack struggling to keep his balance on the wooden boards.

"Well, I don't know. We should anyway, the French really know how to PAR-TAY!"He shouted into the sky, arms waving like a demented windmill. He and Jack fell into a heap on the floor, laughing. Jack pulled himself off the floor; he looked around and smiled devilishly.

"Heeey, how about a little more fun before we go back to Torchwood eh?" the doctor sat up and wiped his eyes,

"What like?" He asked curiously. Jack pointed to a young woman sitting on a bench near the Norwegian church, listening to and iPod.

"Lets see if either of us can pull her, the one who doesn't get her number loses." The doctor grinned and stood up.

"Your on, loser" he started to walk towards her, a little unsteady at first. He managed to reach the bench without falling over. He sat down next to her, she looked up at him.

"Err, hi?"She said looking at his slightly unbuttoned shirt and the tie on his head. He smiled cheekily at her.

"Hi I'm John, I've eaten skittles, wanna taste the rainbow?" he smiled and waved at Jack, who was slowly meandering his way along to them. The girl gaped at him, eyes wide.

"You're drunk." The doctor nodded and giggled at her.

"Sure am, highest quality champagne from the King of France no less" At this point Jack had finally arrived, after knocking into a bin and apologising. He smiled at the girl.

"Hey there good-lookin'. I'm captain Jack Harkness of Torchwood, what's your name?" The girl looked at him in disbelief.

"I've heard of you. What sort of intergalactic space thingy gets drunk with aliens? Oh and my name is Susan Foreman, not good-lookin'. Got it?" Jack opened and closed his mouth a few times; the doctor fell off the bench.

"Its good, I'm fine. And I ain't just an alien, I'm a Time lord. Last of." Susan rolled her eyes and tutted

"Of all the places and times in the world, I meet you here, drunk in Cardiff. And because of this you probably haven't realised that I'm your Grand Daughter." The doctor laughed.

"Odd, my granddaughter was called Susan For..." He stopped mid sentence and a look of panic crossed his face. Jack wet himself laughing

"You almost pulled your granddaughter!" Susan sighed

"C'mon you, back to the TARDIS, before the police pick you up." She managed to drag Jack back to the TARDIS and poke the doctor in the right direction to the doors.


	2. A shoe related fight

The very special converse

(This is set about 2 days afterwards)

"Cor Susan you don't half slap! It's still red after 2 days!" Grumbled Jack, rubbing his still red cheek. The Time lady smiled to herself.

"Well you were the one who pinched my butt!" She retorted "What else was I to do?" She got up from the chair on one side of the TARDIS and walked over to the scanner. At that moment, the doctor burst in, humming a little tune.

"Morning fellow travellers, isn't life wonderful?" He grinned broadly at Jack and Susan. Jack frowned at the doctor.

"Why are you so happy?" he asked curiously, the doctor gestured at his plimsolls.

"Are they not amazing? I found them in a box at the back of the wardrobe." He happily tapped his feet. He was wearing sky blue converses. Susan screamed unintelligible words at him (as well as one or two profanities) the doctor stared at her, a quizzical look on his face.

"Repeat that could you? I don't speak jargon. Techno babble yes, Neocropziv a little..." He started to go off on one, but Susan cut in.

"!" She shrieked at a pitch that would give a bat a headache. The doctor raised an eyebrow.

"And again?" He said wearily, Susan took a deep breath.

"Those are my very special converse which no one should ever touch. Ever" She glowered at him, "Give them back before that mallet goes somewhere very unpleasant" She took a step closer, "Now Grandfather" The doctor stepped back, hands raised in a gesture of peace.

"I'm sorry, look I'll give them back... IF YOU CAN CATCH ME! Hahahahaha!" He raced off out one door of the TARDIS, laughing like a manic. Susan was in swift pursuit, screaming blue murder a waving the mallet around her head. Poor Jack was left bemused in the control room for a moment. Then his face lit up in realisation.

"YouTube opportunity! Where's the camera to?" he started to run in the direction of the high pitched screams of terror and the loud thumps.


	3. what girls want, well, what susan wants

(Note: I made the character Valkyra up for purposes of this story. It never actually existed in the TV programme or books. Anyway, enjoy!)

What girls love

"Shh Jack, she'll hear us!" Whispered the Doctor to Jack. He began to carefully lift out miscellaneous items from Susan's top drawer in her room. Jack watched with interest as the Doctor pulled out secret items that she had hidden from them, a photo of her at Disneyland with Mickey Mouse.

"I knew a Mickey once" muttered the Doctor. Finally he found what he was looking for, her diary. He held it triumphantly in front of Jack.

"She'll kill us if she finds out" said Jack sounding more than a bit worried "But I suppose we could have a quick peek" he said grabbing it off the Doctor. He started to flick through it, "Aha! There is a whole section about me!" he grinned broadly to the Doctor. "Read it!" encouraged the Doctor, nodding towards the diary "Go on!" Jack cleared his throat, "I finally met Captain Jack Harkness today. I had heard so many wonderful things about him from friends and others who met him; they would always say how dashing and brave he was. I thought he was too" He stopped and looked up at the Doctor, who was rolling around on the bed laughing. Jack frowned at him, the Doctor pulled himself up and wiped away a tear,

"Please continue" he said finally, Jack started again, "I thought he looked like the saviour for earth, BUT then he spoke to me and I realised what a complete idiot he was. Constantly makes advances on me and others, often acts out of blind rage and is far too prejudiced on the capability of women. Mainly me." Jack looked up at the Doctor "She doesn't like me, does she?" He looked quite tearful, the Doctor grabbed the diary off of him,

"She doesn't hate you, Susan just finds you annoying. Hey, there's something about me!" The Doctor started to read, "My Grandfather has changed a lot since I left. I looked in the past regeneration room on the first day when he was asleep, drunk too. I found the original and 8 others. Some were an improvement, some were crazy, some had no taste and the 9th one looked like a bloke from the North. I often speak to the original, my Grandfather, when the new one gets on my nerves or just doesn't understand. Actually, the rest don't either, they try to help but fail. That's life I suppose." The Doctor stared at it for a while, "I fail as a role model. Ah well." He brightened up and smiled at Jack "At least part of me doesn't!" Jack took the diary off of him and started to look at the most recent entry.

"Hmm, it says here that all she wants is for me and you to act our age, help out a bit more with things and be nicer to her or she'll call, Valkyra?" he went silent for a minute then asked "Doctor, who is Valkyra? " The Doctor shrugged, "Don't know, check the rest of the diary. Perhaps he is mentioned there" Jack started to flick through the diary again, then he stopped and gave a whoop of joy, "Yes! Here it is, oh" He stopped "All it says is that he is the only one who understands the pain she lives with everyday and misses him loads." He looked back through the diary "Nope, just that's all she ever wants, it seems. But they keep regular contact by the looks of it." Jack closed it and carefully put it back in the drawer. He looked up at the Doctor, "Do you think the TARDIS might be able to help us?" He asked, the Doctor smiled at him,

"It just might Jack" and he raced off to the main console, leaving Jack trailing along behind. By the time Jack arrived, the Doctor had inputted into the main computer. "Google?" asked Jack, looking at the screen. The Doctor shook his head,

"Nearly, it's an intergalactic version. Looks the same, but gives us information from other planets as well as the usual." He pressed "search" and hundreds of entries popped up. The Doctor clicked on the top one, "List of endangered aliens" was the site that appeared. The Doctor read it out loud to Jack, "The Skaa-dyis. An ancient race that has spanned many eons, rivalled only by the Time lords. Ah, I remember them from history lessons on Gallifrey, anyway. They live on the snowy planet of Scandva, similar to the Scandinavian places on Earth. They have the ability to survive in sub-zero temperatures for hundreds of earth years. They share the planet with large, wolf like animals named Skaa-dycs that possess great intelligence and knowledge. These are said to be the origin of the Skaa-dyis, therefore lived in harmony with them. To date, only one survives. Both races were almost wiped out by the Daleks, during the Time war. Soon after the destruction of this planet, Gallifrey was destroyed also and the war ended." The Doctor exhaled "Wow, I forgot about them." Jack pointed, "There's more! The last surviving Skaa-dyi and Skaa-dyc live together, travelling the universe, going by the names of Valkyra and Ffon. Ah, that's why they understand each other so well." Jack closed the page and sat down, "Poor them."

(OoOoOh! Again, the Skaa-dyis etc are my own invention!)


End file.
